A promise forever: voice of a father

It was one of those non-typical July nights in India with the absence of cooler breeze and slighter drizzle. Around 9 PM, I reached the bus station to find away to travel back to my home after a weary working week. The station was not crowded as it was a Monday and the conductors of different buses were relentlessly shouting their destination to attain the attention of needy passengers. And so I found my bus and went in desperately as if I was pursuing a travel to reach some other world. Yes, indeed it was a world without ticking clocks, buzzing traffics, hyper fast lunches and back breaking demands. Though I knew that it would take eight more hours to reach home, I sensed a big relief. The bus was scarcely populated and the conductor, reminded by the schedules they had, gave a nod to the driver insisting him to start the travel. It was then a family boarded the bus and with their loud voices of native Tamil I could easily guess their destination. They made a menace in arranging their stuffs before they settled themselves in seats before me.  A girl with her baby brother, her mother and her granny made their family. The bus started to explore the city before reaching the outskirts and I preferred gazing through the window as I loved doing that.

I heard the voice of the little girl expressing her mom in a worried way that the window by her side was so tight to open and so her mom looked back at me stating their need. On opening the window for her, the girl gave an enticing smile which could give a reason to rejoice even for a wrecked man like me. I was thoroughly impressed by her innocent smile and that was when I noticed some surgical leftovers near her left ear, it concerned me. But she never bothered about my reactions and started to play with her baby brother by tickling him and calling him out with pet names. Suddenly, the tyres screeched for an unavoidable brake that the driver had to make and the mother shouted “Stella, be careful with the baby”. Everyone in the bus was alarmed with the mother’s cry except the baby as it was enjoying the time in the hands of his sweet sister. The conductor apologized to the family for that and started inquiring about the family, caringly, with the granny. I was listening to their conversation as well as watching Stella play, since it gave me more pleasure than gazing at roads. Stella was a typical Indian girl of 10, with brown colored skin and dark pupils and had a gracious hairstyle with neatly falling hairs. Her mother took the baby from her implying that it was not safe to let Stella handle him. Stella, though annoyed for a moment, started seeing through the window and enjoyed the bus ride.

Conversation between the conductor and the granny still existed and they started speaking about Stella, I was all ears at that time. He enquired about the recent surgery made to the girl as it was evident from the plasters that were stuck on her left ear. The granny replied that a fluid-like thing was erupting occasionally and they had to make a surgery to stop it and she added that it was due to the shock that Stella experienced when her father passed away. I was equally shocked as the conductor on hearing that and I didn’t take my eyes off Stella and happened to notice sudden elemental changes in the emotions by her face. The pain she was undergoing now was not new, I felt that it has besetted her many times whenever she heard someone speaking about her dad. Her looks were struck at one point, her thoughts were deep around something and her pain echoed through her heartbeats, that I could hear. She was experienced than me in handling pains so that she controlled her tears but not for a long time. Her thoughts won and tears welled from her eyes. I could see them roll over her cheeks and splash on the steel bars that guarded the bus windows. I couldn’t bear the sight and rested my head over the seat and the last sight of my day was seeing Stella cry.

I woke up suddenly around 4 AM in the morning to see Stella physically disappear from me as the bus reached their destination. But Stella stayed back in my thoughts and she made me realize how a daughter could miss her dad with all her thoughts. I took a nap before the bus reached my destination. The morning was so damp and misty that it was only with the great difficulty the day succeeded in breaking. I had to wait for a local bus to reach home and in the spare time I decided to have a tea which will help sustain the morning cold. I sat down thinking about Stella and uselessly glancing through the magazine that was on the table. One particular news caught my attention, it read: “Life term for father in Paravoor sex scandal”. I was not able to read through its contents after going through the introductory passage of the report, as it certainly troubled my mind terribly. It was about the ruthless act of a father, who raped his minor daughter and allegedly involved her in prostitution. It was insane and felt that I was exposed to the two corners of the world within 12 hours: the good and the evil. I came through a daughter who misses her father in every minute of her life and a daughter who hates her father in every second of her life. The thoughts prevailed inside me and I got a bus to reach my home.

My wife opened the door for me with a blank smile and relived me of the luggage from my hands. I straight away went to the room where my daughter was sleeping, as it was too early for her to be awake. I sat in one corner of her bed and kept my hand over her head and said in a low voice “I will take care of you”. And it was that time, that day, I made a promise. A promise of limitless love; A promise of endless care; A promise of a better life; A promise of eternal happiness; A promise that I will not make my daughter weep; A promise that a little angel of The Lord, Stella, told me to keep; A promise forever. 

The words in bold-italic (fourth passage) were taken from the novel "The Idiot" to express my liking over it!!